Lyrics:

Pat is the guy with a record shop
and John sells fruit but wants to be a cop
and Paul deals speed in a celtic top
but I'm just a drunk in a band

Joe does tele-sales and martial arts
and Jim pushes patients 'round the public parks
and Nancy makes sculptures out of Hoover parts
but I'm just a drunk in a band

Danny puts the cones on the motorway
and Donna dances tables in her lingere
and Jerry, Dave, and Billy, man, they're putting on a play
but I'm just a drunk in a band

Pat is the guy with a record shop
and John sells fruit but wants to be a cop
and Paul deals speed in a celtic top
but I'm just a drunk in a band

I could be a soldier, I could drive a van
Guide rivers of paint into little red cans
Walk rich folks dogs bring 747s in to land
I'm just a drunk in a band