Lyrics:

On a chicken farm just downstream of Oak Ridge, Tennessee
A nuclear reactor leaked some water accidentally
What happened next is like a horror story by Ralph Nader
That toxic waste leaked into a brood house incubator

(Oooh oooh)

Inside that chicken coop they always kept the TV on
Said the programs helped the chicks to grow, helped to keep them calm
As four little chickens put that heavy water down their gullets
A kung fu show was on the air, and something happened to those pullets

They began to grow
And grow
With that kung fu show locked in they're brain
That's the only way we can explain

(Chorus)
Teenage Mutant Kung Fu Chickens (Chickens)
Big as a house, strong as the dickens (Dickens)
Anything they want is easy pickin's
For Teenage Mutant Kung Fu Chickens

One said his name was Fricassee
The second Cordon Bleu
The third was Cacciatore
The fourth they just called 'Stew'

They could've been dangerous having grown so big on heavy water
But they decided they would live their lives on the side of law and order

(Chorus)
Teenage Mutant Kung Fu Roosters (Roosters)
Bad guys won't have it easy like they usedters (usedters)
They come with Tae Kwon Do and all the fixin's
They're Teenage Mutant Kung Fu Chickens

(Farmer)
Yeah, we was just all down there at the barn holdin' the auction so we wouldn't lose the farm
When all of a sudden these four big pullets with black scarves around their foreheads
Come on down that hill yonder, surrounded them bankers, pecked them on the head and dropped them like green persimmons!
He he, yeah, then they went down there to the bottom forty
Start scratchin' around like chickens just want to do
Before you know it they play out that whole field, ready for plantin'!

(Farmer's Wife)
Yeah, they saved our farm! Aheh!

(Chorus)
Teenage Mutant Kung Fu Chickens (Chickens)
Big as a house, strong as the dickens (Dickens)
Anything they want is easy pickin's
For Teenage Mutant Kung Fu Chickens

Teenage Mutant Kung Fu Chickens

Hey, Cock-a-doodle, Dude!