Lyrics:

I am a dull and simple lad Cannot tell water from champagne and I have never met the Queen And I wish I could have all he has got - I wish I could be like David Watts And when I lie on my pillow at night I dream I could fight like David Watts And lead the school team to victory Take my exams and pass the lot He is the head boy at the school He is the captain of the team His is so gay and fancy free And I wish I could have all the money he's got I wish I could be like David Watts And all the girls in the neighbourhood Try to go out with David Watts The try their best but can't succeed For he is of pure and noble creed