Lyrics:

We're only making plans for Nigel
We only want what's best for him
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel just needs this helping hand
And if young Nigel says he's happy
He must be happy, he must be happy
He must be happy in his work
We're only making plans for Nigel
He has his future in a British steel
We're only making plans for Nigel
Nigel's whole future is as good as sealed
And if young Nigel says he's happy
He must be happy, he must be happy
He must be happy in his work
Nigel is not outspoken
But he likes to speak and loves to be spoken to
Nigel is happy in his work
Oh, Nigel is happy in his work
And Nigel is happy in his work