Lyrics:

Ahhhh...
The Lord is a monkey
Thanksgiving's coming on the Fourth of July
In the form of a girl with a needle in her eye
Well she come from out west on a nickel worth of gas
Got her mind on her money and her dope up her ass
Outside of Phoenix she was kinda broke down
Burned a cracker-boy rig and she was out of that town.
Ha Ha Ha!

Ahhhhh...
Well she was a Hare Krishna in the Ashram Bed
She was sellin' 'get sky' and had funky-ass hair
She pooed in my mouth and she threw me on the bed
Where she cut off my balls and she sewed them to my head
Well she's heading back East in a 67 Caddy
Got her mind on her money and a dope for her daddy

Well I met her on the street where she beat me like a fool
Then she got me accepted to an ivy league school
Well I real did good but it's kickin' my ass
I lost 38 pounds and my eye turned to glass
Well she's looking pretty good first week in July
She's got her dope up her ass and a needle in her eye

Ahhhhh...
Thanksgivings coming on the Fourth of July
In the form of a girl with a needle in her eye
Well she come from out west on a nickel worth of gas
Got her mind on her money and her dope up her ass