Lyrics:

He was sittin' at the bar, sippin' on a regular Coke
We were drinkin' and smokin' and makin' him the butt of our jokes
We all said,
"Man, what happened to you? Why can't you just have a few?
"
He said,
"I would if I could, but it's probably best that I don't.
"

[Chorus]
'Cause the more I drink, the more I drink
Yeah, I'm the world's greatest lover and a dancin' machine
I get loud, I get proud, and it gets worse
Well, if I have one, I'll have thirteen
Naw, there ain't no in-between
'Cause the more I drink, the more I drink

A couple of cold ones, and somebody hands me a shot
Hell, even buck-tooth and bow-legged women start lookin' hot
And pretty soon I'm bummin' cigarettes, and sweet talkin' some big brunette
Yeah, once I get on a roll, ain't no tellin' where I'll stop

[Chorus]

Yep, yep
Hmm, that's what I'm talking about

Man, if I have one, I'll have thirteen
And they can't get me off the karaoke machine
The more I drink, the more I drink
Yeah, the more I drink, the more I drink, the more I drink